I’m making myself a t-shirt that I will start wearing to my office on casual Fridays.  Said t-shirt will have the following information:

1. No – I am not carrying twins

2. I’m due in 8 weeks & No, I’m still not carrying twins

3. No – my Dr. does not have the due date wrong – I know when I had sex and conceived – I was on fucking drugs – and it wasn’t pot.

4. I am absolutely positive that I am not carrying twins & No, one is not hiding behind the other because I had a fucking sonogram when I was less than 8 weeks pregnant and they don’t hide behind one another very well when they are that small – you fucking arse.

5. Do you really think that it is a good idea to ask me all these questions on a repeated basis?  Do you really think that it is any of your business to ask me if the Dr. has the date wrong?  Do you think if my Dr. did have the date wrong, they would be 2 months worth in the wrong?  And for your information you are half my height and besides being able to stomp on you with my left toe alone, I, of course, am probably bigger than you were when you were pregnant. 

6. And NO – after asking all these assanine questions – you may not touch my stomach.  What the hell would you want to for anyway?  To make sure that I actually have a baby in there?  Go jump out the window.

Okay – so that might be a little too much to put on one t-shirt….but seriously folks…I have run into a couple ladies recently that are just about where I am at in terms of weeks pregnant and guess what?  We all look about the same size!!! WTF?  Where are people getting their ideas about the “ideal” pregnant size?  Seriously.  I haven’t even gained the said 25-35 pounds yet…I probably won’t top out at 35lbs gained.  Even though I got some curves – I’m all baby. 

I actually don’t really have a problem when people make these comments…I do have a problem however, when the same fucking person makes them over and over and over….although, I do have to give her credit – at least she added a new one (the Dr. and due date one).


It was a tough day.  Felt like I got beat down with one thing or another.  I thankfully have Friday off – although I will be sitting with my laptop at the Dr.’s office for 4 hours taking my wonderful glucose test…and then I’ll have some time to myself and then back to the Doc’s for my regular appointment.  THEN – Dodo and I are going to The Police!  YEA!!!  We got the “cheap” tickets and are meeting a bunch of my co-workers.  Oh – and by the way – I guess I am totally cool that I would go to a concert 8 months pregnant.  Wow – I feel old. (I actually wanted to ask the person that said that if she knew who The Police were…but then I thought I would be dating myself even more and not getting the appropriate dig in that I wanted).


If your not judged by one thing – your judged by another. 


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