Things I have learned

My dearest little boy,

You are 4 weeks old.  I can’t believe that we have already been through 4 weeks of diaper changes, feeding and most importantly sleeping with you.  Well, the sleeping part is mostly all you as I have yet to figure out how to sleep when you are sleeping.  I have learned a few things though.

I have learned that you do not wake to the sound of the vaccuum cleaner or the espresso machine.  The latter is most important as I don’t think I would have survived the last 4 weeks without coffee…well, I typically can’t survive a normal day by myself without coffee let alone a small baby…

I have learned that I can make espresso while holding you.  It is one of the many things that I can now do one handed…I can also get the little plastic film off of the microwave dinner that is nearly impossible to get off with two hands.  But you have a Mommy that is very talented…

I have learned that you fit into our family like you have always been here.  I have learned that life slows to an almost standstill and that things, appointments, showers and coffee can wait if you need me.  I have learned that you don’t really like going to sleep but don’t fight it too much.  Just as long as you are in someone’s arms (preferably Mommy or Daddy’s) you will fight a little but then go right to sleep.  I have learned that you grunt like crazy when you poo…I tend to get worried that you are going to revolt pooing later in life.  You seem to hate it now…well, Mommy hates it now too – at least you don’t have to drink the prune juice.

I have learned that there are many different opinions out there about parenting, diapering, breast-feeding, etc. that people are all too eager to tell you…telling is one thing but making you feel like their way is the only way or you are a bad parent…well, I have found that my instinct is the best parenting that I can give you.  I have learned that I love holding you.  Even when I feel like I need to get things done around the house – I love holding you.  I wrap you on me and carry you around and you are so content.  You are a very good baby. 

You did give us a scare last week and stopped breathing. We had to take you to the hospital and you were poked and prodded and that was the worst of it all.  You hated it and were in pain through some of it and it just broke my heart.  You were so upset that it wasn’t crying…I don’t know what it was but I never want to hear it again. 

I find my heart breaks a lot these days.  My heart breaks when you cry.  My heart breaks when you give me a great big smile.  It breaks when I think how much you have already grown.  Most of the time they are good heart breaks…they tell me that I am a Mother and I have you.

You are smiling a lot more and when you do your entire face just lights up.  You recognize your Daddy and me and follow us with your eyes.  I just can’t get over how quickly you have grown. 

I don’t think that we have scarred you too much during these first 4 weeks but just in case I have started to put money away for you.  You can either use it for therapy or a trip to Europe after you graduate.  Either one…I may need to think about putting some money aside for myself.  I may need the therapy…

I have learned that I can do this.  I have learned that you have two parents that communicate pretty darn well with each other and this has set us up to be able to handle this change because even though we worked hard for you and anticipated the change – it is still a big change! 

Darling little boy – please don’t grow up too fast…

Your Mommy

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4 Comments on “Things I have learned”

  1. jdoublep Says:

    hold on to all those moments, jes, because they do grow up too fast. much too fast.

  2. TE Says:

    Does going thru this with our little kitty count? He’s doubled in 2 weeks!! No, really…is this how I’ll finally seem grown up? I know I’ll sound just like you on this post when we have kiddos — more so D than I. Li has got a GOOD mommy & daddy. Lucky bugger!

  3. jdoublep Says:

    a month plus 🙂 i remember feeling so accomplished at that point. Like, “He made it this far and all in one piece!” i’m glad you’re feeling so confident as a new mom. that seems like the thing that is all too elusive in learning your own parenting style as a new mom.

  4. Granny B Says:

    should not have read this at work…made me cry.
    yes, babies do grow up way to quick…all of a sudden they’re a MOM.

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