4 Months

My Dearest LiDo,

You are four months old today. Four whole months. It boggles my mind. I think that I will continue to say this until you are probably 16 or 17 and then wish 18 would hurry up…but even then I think I will be boggled. 

The things that have been happening with you in the past month amaze me.  You have rolled from front to back and kept on going….much to my joy and dismay.  This big step means that you are not too terribly far from crawling , especially since you are trying to figure out how to get your legs under you and pushing up constantly with your arms.  Even the rolling makes you so mobil.  We have to put pillows around you so you don’t roll of the bed while waiting for me to get dressed in the mornings.  I am starting to think that I should put the andirons away as well as try and cordon off the fireplace.  You see something you want and you roll towards it…it is amazing. 

You are reaching for things with one little hand – deliberately.  Even tonight you played your first real game with your Daddy…you figured out that if you stuck your paci in your mouth Daddy would make a funny sound and you just kept putting it out and back in and giggle and smile when Daddy would make the sound.  I was amazed.  It was the first time that you have been doing the action to get a response. 

You absolutely love everything about us right now.  Please don’t forget this in the long term. 

My dearest moments right now are of you giggling playing the “achoo” game or snuggling with me in bed in the mornings or the big smile you have when your Daddy gets home. Actually – every moment is a dear moment.

You have started sitting in a highchair and eating cereal for dinner and you love it.  Tonight you even started grabbing the spoon and helping me get that good stuff in there – I guess I wasn’t being quick enough about it.  You actually had better aim that I did and came out cleaner than usual.  I tend to get it up your nose and in your hair.  And like any child, you hate having your face washed and hands washed.  You just want to get on to the second course – your bottle.  

We took our first road trip by ourselves this past Sunday.  We headed up to Seattle and like a good mother with good intentions, I started out early because I wanted to get an oil change and then ended up getting more work done on the car and that took up most and more of my “extra” time to get us up to Seattle….you slept the entire time they were working on the car and only woke up for your bottle.  Your timing is impeccable.  You did so great on the trip…a there and back all in an afternoon!

You have such a wonderful little personality.  You are a very happy baby and a very easy baby.  You only get upset when you are tired or hungry which I appreciate very much.  It is getting so hard to leave you though at daycare.  I spent an extra half hour there the other morning because I just couldn’t bare to miss your interactions with the other little kids there.  They love you and get all excited when you arrive and love and kiss on you…I just couldn’t leave that.  You just watch and squeal and giggle.  You have them wrapped around your little finger.  Two little girls in particular love you – they even worry about you when you get too close to the desk due to you rolling over so much…and they are 3 years old and worrying about you.  Nothing can happen to their baby LiDo as they call you.

These past few days have been hard for some reason.  My heart wants to break every time I think about you – when you are away from me.  I started just bringing you into bed with me in the mornings, since you were getting up at 5am (my workout time), and just cuddle and feed you.  We both fall back asleep and I have your Daddy set my alarm for later…and later…I know that you are doing well and thriving at daycare but I just don’t want to miss anything about you.  That is why I have pushed aside working out in the mornings these past few days – I have felt that you have needed me more and I have needed you more.  

You have changed so much so quickly that I feel like one morning I will walk into your room and you’ll be speaking in full sentences and running around.  Other mornings I am afraid that I will walk into your room and you’ll be gone – then I’ll  remember that you are in college and living on your own.  I feel like I have to be one step ahead of you at all times – teaching you, planning for you – and at the same time wanting to stay one step behind – watching you, seeing you. 

I find myself starting to make changes in our life so that I can spend as much time with you as possible.  Not cleaning all the time, picking up, etc.  but planning what I can do in the littlest amount of time to keep everything running…planning these things so I can spend as much time with you as possible. 

Please stay my baby for just a little while longer.  I promise you that I will let you grow up.  But just not right now. 

Four months ago we were welcoming you into our little world.  Four months ago you opened up our world to a bigger one. 

I love you my dear child,

Your Mom


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One Comment on “4 Months”

  1. Ellen Says:

    Ok, that is the sweetest post ever! You captured exactly how I felt about my kiddo at that age and how I continue to feel every day. They grow up so fast!!! Thanks for sharing – even if I did almost start crying at work! That picture at the end is just perfect too! 🙂

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