Seedlings

Lido is not 9 months yet….and with this post I will have posted at least twice prior to his 9 month letter….

Good sign.

My little seedlings are doing well. I get a small thrill each day going out and inspecting them and tallking to them. I never knew that a part of the seed is “shed” off from some plants as they sprout. It has been nice to take a step back and pay attention to the very very small things in life.

So I’ve been putting out some feelers regarding possible jobs for me in KC so that we can move back. Dodo is almost done with his hours and the company has recently implemented a 1000 hr. layoff policy…you reach your 1000 hrs and you are laid off…pretty much sucks right now because all the jobs out there just RAISED their minimums.  A lot of pilots are out of work – a lot of new low time pilots are out of work.  We both knew that it would take a bit of time to find the “perfect” job – years possibly – but we never thought we would be in the situation that we are facing. I don’t think any of our fellow pilot friends had any inkling of this either.

This is why I’ve started putting out the vibes to KC. Then I found something on the web for a place that I will not disclose. All I will tell you is that it is sunny pretty much all year around…surrounded by ocean…and life could go at a much much muuuuch slower pace.  Then I started daydreaming about what it would be like living there. How much fun and a great opportunity it would be to raise a kid (for a couple of years) there. Expose him to all sorts of cool things. Then I started thinking how nice it would be to just live a very simple life. Sell most of our things…pack up the rest…

It isn’t that I don’t want to move back because I do. It’s just that we came here to Portland for one reason. We have to keep that reason in the forefront of our minds while really taking an opportunity that may be a lot of fun for a while. I’m sure it would be hard…that much further away. I just don’t want to get down the road in 10 years and say I wish I would have taken that experience…even if it turns out to be not what we expected.

We have so many ideas that we are tossing up in the air…starting our own school back in KC…on a small scale…but it would be mainly to get Dodo the additional hours that he needs for something else…so would our hearts really be in it for the right reasons?

Move back and not fly for a while and see if things….turn around? I don’t think that they really will in the aviation industry.  Maybe in several years.  This situation will definitely weed out the players that go out and make something happen versus those that peruse the boards and wait for something to happen.  I don’t really want to move back and have Dodo not fly. I don’t think that either of us would be happy.  A dream would be very stagnant.

I have struggled for several years about feeling like I am out of my element. That this is not home. That I miss my family and friends too much to stay away any longer. Thinking about what we may need to do so that Dodo can fly…and having a child…changes things.  I’d love for him to have some really great experiences while he is a child even if that means he may not remember all of them but at least he will know that his parents took a chance, gave him an opportunity to taste different cultures at a young and in a sense bucked the system.  He may grow up and never leave the one place we settle down in…but I think taking chances right now…having another adventure with a kid in tow…I think it may do all of us good in the end.

In some ways our move to Portland has been preparing me the last 3 years of doing something like this….I think that it is still preparing me for it.  It is definitely teaching me to make more than one plan, be ready for anything and think outside the box when it comes to raising our little family.

Who knows what the next couple of months will bring. Am I prepared to move…are we financially prepared to move…not really. Maybe this is another lesson…The whole situation is a bit like my little seedlings.  I don’t know what all of them are but some look the same and those that look the same are growing differently. The ones that were planted not from seeds but from plants are doing well…but part of them are not…some of established plants are coming back to life…Some of the seeds are not coming up at all even though they are supposed to be coming up right now…and some are sprouting and shedding their shells.

Right now our little family is planting our seeds, watching our plants that we already have continue to grow and waiting to see what comes up in that pot on the left side of the deck…Some things may never grow past a certain point, some things may grow only for one season and yet some things may grow big and live a long time.

Wherever we end up – is where we are supposed to be.

Redwood Trip May09 065

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