Happy Birthday – The big 2

My Dearest LiDo,

You are two today…technically at 11:09pm tonight but this is the day.  The day that you were brought into this world with both of your parents eagerly anticipating your arrival. It took several days to get you here (plus 9 months) but you were in our arms on this day.

We are spending your birthday in the pacific northwest at the coast. It is raining (of course) but we had a really good day today. We took our time getting out the door which meant we were out by 9am instead of 7am…We headed for a little bit of shopping to get some fun candy stuff and I needed to find a raincoat for you. We accomplished both and walked around a little bit and then I decided we would head back to the hotel and get our gear on to head to the beach and explore. However, within 5 minutes your were asleep so I decided we would drive south and go to Pelican Pub for a birthday lunch.

How you have grown! You call me Momom and you have started saying ‘I love you’ and you are just the cutest thing. Right now you are climbing over me and taking my hat off and saying ‘my hat’ and putting it on your head backwards. You love all things mechanical (still) and anything sugary. Trains, trucks, cars, buses, airplanes, helicopters…all you.  Today we went to the Air Museum in Tillamook and you went wild. I wasn’t quite sure whether or not you’d be into it or not but I shouldn’t have worried. You ran in there and at the first plane you saw, you ran to and stood in front of it and told me ‘picture, picture’. And that is the way it went the rest of the time – you running to the next plane or helicopter and standing in front of it demanding your picture be taken. I loved it.

You’re a fun kid. You are a happy kid. I love when you give me your sly look, you look so much like your Dad when you do. You have the greatest smile. You go for things but still hold back at times, still need your Mom. You are just simply amazing.

This past year has been tough. It was only 4 days after you turned one that your Dad was killed. I wonder sometimes what you would be like if your Dad were still here. Would you be doing the same things you’re doing now or even more? But it is just us. For the, almost, past year it has been just us. I hope that I am doing a good job with you. Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed and feel like I’m not doing the right things for you. Then I sit back and think that I’m doing the best that I can. Some days it is better than others granted but it is still the best that I can do. I can’t change what has happened to this family and losing your Dad but I can try and give you the best life possible and one that he would have wanted for you. One that we both would want for you.

A year ago we were a family of three. We were sitting in our dining room singing to you and giving you your first cupcake. Your Daddy took video and I took pictures and we laughed and smiled and loved you. We talked about how wonderful it was – this life, our family, you. We were amazed that we were parents…Amazed that it happened to us. You got a sugar high and extremely tired all at once and your Daddy got you cleaned off and put you to bed. He and I laid on the sofa, watched a movie and relaxed in each others arms.

Your Dad would have given you a great big hug today. He would have laughed at your antics and sang to you and taken video. We would have gotten you a cupcake and waited for the sugar high and put you to bed afterwards. He would have said how awesome it was that you were two already and how great it was to be a Dad. I want you to always know how wonderful of a person and Dad he was. How much he wanted you and how much he wanted to be a Dad. He loves you still. Wherever he is…

I am so proud of you. I love you so terribly much. Keep growing my little bug…

Always your Momom,

In this life and the next.

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2 Comments on “Happy Birthday – The big 2”

  1. Sharon Says:

    Jesi, You are so brave and so strong, Liam is blessed to have you for a momom. I am thinking of you and him and sending peace and love your way.

    Happy Birthday to you both.

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