My Dearest Child

My Dearest Child,

My how you are growing. You are 2 years old and three months…and yes, I’m writing this after the 16th! I seem to not be able to keep upon this sometimes and my goal was to write 365 entries in the next year. I’ve missed a few days. Please don’t follow in my footsteps…in this regard.

Oh well.

It is the holidays. It completely sucks that your Dad is not here and I’m trying to get through it. You are loving all of the lights and Santas and Snow Men (Mowmen to you). You love reindeer and candy canes. We decorated the house this year and you helped pick out the Christmas tree. You did a great job as well. We kind of walked around for a bit and then I asked you to pick one out and you walked over to one and when the kid helped us get it out – it was just perfect. It was the easiest tree excursion ever. You weren’t much into helping decorate the tree itself but you loved the end result. We even decorated the outside of the house a little bit and you love coming home in the dark to your ‘cany canes’.

All of this hasn’t been easy but I knew that it was important to celebrate Christmas in one way or another and to maybe start our own traditions this year. I know this decision was right because you have enjoyed so much of it. And that is what I try and do – give you that childhood. The happy childhood.

You had your first Christmas program at your school this year. I took video and thought about posting it but decided that that particular video would go in the storage vault for about 20 or so years until I got over the trauma. Bless your heart child, you kept jingling your jingle bells while crying to the point of almost throwing up. I can’t watch the video. It is way too heart breaking. And I so wanted your Dad to be there to pick you up in his arms and tell you ‘don’t worry kid – I would have done the same’. Instead, I held you and calmed you down and told you that it was okay.

You don’t seem to have any lingering effects of the situation and I’m thankful for that.

Your a wonderful kid. I love you. I hope that I can make your Christmas’ nice – after all – Christmas became a very wonderful time for your Dad and I…you became more than just a glint in your Daddy’s eye at Christmas…

Now that you will be thoroughly embarrassed in the future…

I love you.

In this life and the next,

Your Mom.

 

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