Measurements of Time

Ever since the accident there isn’t a day that goes by that I do not measure the amount of time that has gone by. It used to be every Sunday was counted. Then it changed to every 20th day counted. Months were counted, whether or not I was closer to the one year mark vs. the 1st day mark. A year came, another birthday, anniversary, Thanksgiving, Christmas and new year.

The one measurement though that sticks in my mind, at times more than any other, is the passage of the months on the NTSB aviation accident database – the monthly list. Now there are two years listed above ‘his year’. One year is completely filled in with the months and this year – just the one. We are moving down on the list. It’s not right there – front and center anymore. I stopped going on the site because of this. I hated seeing the passage of time in black and white. Month after month. I’ve been visiting recently though – just to see if there are any updates. Any at all. There is no use in contacting them. They’ll tell me that I need to go talk to a counselor…ya – they actually told me that. Told me to go on their website and they had an 800 number where I could speak to someone.

The wife of the other person killed got the same thing…after we were mad about it…I think we both found it kind of humorous.

Instead of seeking the advice of one of their counselors – I’ll just keep visiting the site and will make no attempt to contact them. I will see the passage of time, with no answer.

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