Weekends like these…

It’s weekends like these that are still so hard to get through. The weekends where even if we didn’t have plans to do something big, we’d be together doing something together.

We’d be together. Work would be a memory for a couple of days and we would just have some fun. We’d get some house things accomplished, take Lido to the beach or the park. Just be.

It’s weekends like these that I feel the absolute loneliest. Invitations to do things on a holiday weekend just don’t have the same excitement as they once did. I dread them. Actually, I dread them even if they don’t fall on a holiday weekend. I don’t like being there by myself amongst others who are married or dating someone or if they are single…well, I’m just not comfortable with being single without it being my choice. It’s still just so much a slap in the face that this is my reality and I don’t like it one bit.

I’m so tired. I’m so sad. I just have absolutely no idea what to do. I feel I have no direction. I try to have my schedule. I run most every day. That at least minimizes the stress. I’m able to handle things better. Unfortunately, it doesn’t make everything go away.

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