My Uncle John

The year after Doug died, I had several conversations with my Uncle John. Conversations that I never would have imagined would happen between the two of us. Not because we didn’t get along but simply because we just didn’t have many of ‘those’ conversations. The thing that surprised me the most about these conversations was…John. You see, most of the time I heard him talking as a doctor – which he is – a radiation oncologist to be exact – and what we were talking about was so outside my perspective of him that it was mainly the fact that it was ‘him’ who was talking to me that was so surprising…He even surprised me by posting on this blog…I didn’t  know he even read it…

I’m so thankful that I got to know another side of him and I’m so grateful to him for the conversations that we had after Doug died. I still think about things that he has said to me, especially when I feel as if I’m at my lowest. His words and his beliefs that he has shared with me have helped me. His words to Doug before we got married and the reminder of the safe of rifles and hand guns he kept…reminded me that my family is kind of funny…

My Mom and I are getting ready to head out to see you John. I think she was a little leery of going because of the time of year this is for me. One of the best moments of my life – Lido being born – and the worst time of my life – Doug’s death. But I know that I would regret not seeing you again. To tell you thank you.

Just in case you decide that you’d like to leave this realm before we make it up there, thank you for being my Uncle. Thank you for supporting me and for our conversations. Last night I asked Doug to meet you on the other side, I know you have others waiting there but I asked him to maybe come to you and walk with you. This is your own journey but you do not need to be alone and I know you won’t be. Thank you John, with all my heart. And much love to you. You will always be in my heart.

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Explore posts in the same categories: Flying Dodo, Uncategorized, Widowhood

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