Archive for March 2012

Oh so long…

6 March, 2012

My Dearest Child,

Again…I’ve mastered not writing your monthly letter consistently as of late. I really do promise, as stated before, I’ll be better at it…because, after all, I want you to be able to look back and read about your life, our life.

Friends. You have a best friend at school and the two of you definitely make the teachers smile. The two of you do so much together and it is fun to hear about the ‘dinosaur egg’s (rocks) that are in the school playground and how you play dinosaurs at recess. This is one of the best parts about this age – the imagination really comes out and I love to embrace it all!  You also have another little friend that has been over the house a few times and the two of you run around like mad, playing, talking, pretending…and the both of you are just really nice kids. You both help each other out at different times and you guys just play on your own and have soooo much fun. It’s drama when either of you have to leave, that’s for sure, so goodbyes between the mom’s happens typically via text the next day!

We are coming up on spring break and I am looking forward to a week with you around daily. The weather is shaping up to be really nice and I hope we can do many things outdoors. I’m trying to work on letting you just be a kid – or more specifically – a messy, get dirty, roll in mud and dirt kind of kid. Your at the age where I can let you explore more and more so next week, that is exactly what we will do. Explore all kinds of things!

The other major thing we are working on is changing our food intake. We are fairly healthy eaters but we certainly have our fare share of processed foods. All of that is about to change. It is a challenge and we will work on it slowly and I think it will be more painful for me than it will be for you. You have always been the fruit and veggie kid and you typically just go with the flow anyway. This is a good thing for both of us!

You continue to amaze me and as I sit here, the one thing that stands out is how nice you are with your friends and other kids. You are a very caring little boy and you definitely love having other kids over to the house, although we don’t do this often enough. It is interesting to see how you work through things at school with other kids, if they say something that is not so nice to you or to someone else. You typically bring it up to me at some point in a ‘this kid said that to another kid’ and I can tell when you know that whatever they said wasn’t quite nice and you didn’t like how one the one kid treated the other. Usually, the discussion is very brief because I think that the most you want is some reassurance that you can tell the other kid to stop saying mean things to the other kids – or even you. There was a time when a couple kids were not being very nice to you and we had several discussions about what you could do to stop them from saying mean things. Essentially, it was my opportunity to help you find your voice and to be assertive when mean things were said. After I told you that it was okay to tell them to stop being mean and to tell them that what they were doing wasn’t nice – you did it. Your teachers even commented on the fact that you were being a bit more assertive in the classroom and out on the playground. Now, I think you are learning how to stand up for other kids…and I love that about you. It reminds me so much of your Dad. Stand up for those around you and if need be – tell others to bugger off!

In one of the last parent/teacher conferences, your teachers told me about a moment when you were with your classmates (and I may have already posted about this…) and out of the blue you said that your Daddy died. The other kids got quiet and asked you if your Mommy died too. You said ‘no, just my Dad.’ Then you all went back to playing.

Wow.

To me, I see this as you feeling comfortable enough with your classmates to share something that you may understand much better than they do…and part of you processing the whole situation. I’m still so proud of you about this moment.

I’ve been thinking about getting you a bike – a real bike – but I just haven’t quite made the leap yet. When I think about it, I start crying as this is one memory of your Dad that I will never forget. Him coming into the living room one evening, looking at me and saying “I just got one of those ‘Dad’ moments, you know where you just think how cool all of this is and that I’m really a Dad. I can’t wait to teach him to ride a bike.” It’s just another milestone that I can’t ignore and one that he won’t be a part of and my heart just keeps breaking. Actually, I’m not sure if there is much more to break…but I have to gear up for this. Maybe this will be the summer of the ‘bike’!

I love you my sweet child. I’m so proud of you. You really are just an amazing little guy.

In this life and the next,

Your Momom

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